Two Nights

Ben —  April 6, 2011 — 34 Comments

Nunes Girls

For the past few days, I have been doing something extremely out of character for me. The last time I did this was back in June of 2006, and if I do this again it will be all too soon. Every time I even think about doing this, it makes me sick to my stomach. This makes me think about how God has made me as an individual, how he has NOT made me as an individual, and further confirms His will for my life.

This is what is going on:

I have been getting out of bed, getting ready for work, going to work, doing something after work, eating dinner, then going home and going to bed.

All without:

Nunes Dude

Seeing

Touching

Feeling

Smelling

Hugging

Kissing

Crying with

Playing with

Laughing with…

…my Family.

Why?

It’s kind of hard to do any of that stuff when your +4 is almost 800 miles away up north.

Family trip – Dad = Learning about who God is in regards to how He made Me.

I remember from a very young age that my #1 desire to be when I grew up was a husband, and a young father. Sure, I wanted to be a fighter pilot, or a pro soccer player, or even a professional pianist (which lasted up until my 2nd semester in college) at times, but those kind of faded in and out. Being a father with my bride next to my side has always been in my sites, and this week kind of not living that out?

Well…

it sucks. hardcore.

With the help of some awesome friends, and some good reading material I’ve almost been able to distract myself so I won’t notice the emptiness of the house, or even worse. My bed…brrrr…

#FAIL

I kind of get mad that I can’t even enjoy this time alone, this time to “recharge” and get stuff done. I get mad at the fact that I wake up 5 times every night, because I just want to sleep through so the nights go quicker, and Friday comes sooner. I get mad, because God made me this way… wait what?

So I did what I should have done in the beginning. I spent some time, some quality time with My Father, and He reminds me of something I sometimes forget to do.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. tweet

Psalm 139:14 tweet

I’ve learned that I love to have somebody next to me when I go to sleep at night, and when I wake up in the morning…

…and I’ve learned that God has made me to long for the touch and smell of my family, so that when I come home from work every night my heart jumps for joy at the sound of craziness….

…and I’ve learned that this time away from them is important to remind myself who I am, and whose I am.

I now know that full well.

Two nights left, and all will be back to crazy.

Creating Memories
Who Will Vouch For Me?

34 responses to Two Nights

  1. Ben….

    My brother. Talk about a soul-cleansing moment.

    Our Father is jealous for you. Your family is fine and in His hands. Now it comes down to you and Him for several days.

    “Walk with me to the top of this mountain, and I will show you My handiwork. Invite Me to join you on the couch as you relax. Spend time with Me as you eat your dinners. It’s Me and you right now, son.”

    • It’s crazy but that’s what it really felt like, He wanted the time with me, no… He wants ALL of my time with Him.

      Glad we have a jealous God, but not so great that I forget sometimes…

  2. Very sweet, Nunes. Man, that reunion when you are all back together is going to be a good one. So cool to see what God does in the meantime.

    • Oh man it’s going to be NUTS. Well, unless they’re all cranky and tired after driving for 14 hours, then it’ll just be crankytown.

      I better prepare the house for a grand entrance w/ candy, flowers and ice cream. yeah…

  3. I wish my husband and kids would take a vacation. Then I could have the bed to myself without being woken up 4 times a night. That’s ok, I’m going out of town in a week and so I’ll get mine.

    Still, I know what you mean. Having to sit with the quiet sometimes drives me insane. I took a walk by myself and just sat in a very empty park for an hour last week. I got bored real fast. I had to actually sit with my obnoxious thoughts and think about stuff I didn’t want to. So I get it. So sweet that you love your fam. Keep it up. And hang in there too šŸ™‚

  4. Dude, I’ve been there. My wife once left to FL with kids for 5 days and I thought I was going to be so excited. Free time! No wife, no nagging children… just me and freedom.

    I ended up going to sleep early each day and working late because I didn’t want to go home to an empty home. It was actually a bit depressing.

    When they returned, the craziness came back and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Hang in there buddy.

    • Definitely would not have it any other way. I am not looking forward to empty nesting, oh wait, they haven’t gone through their teens yet so that might change.

  5. Love the passage you chose to read. Check the whole chapter and see how he knit you together. Incredible blessing in His word just for you.

    • Definitely love this Psalm and the idea of being “knitted” together, and that He is the only one who knows from the beginning who I am going to be.

  6. My greatest desire growing up was also to get married and be a father, a young father especially. I wanted that (and still do) more than anything else. Unfortunately God has had different plans for me. I know how hard the empty house and bed can be. Praying this week goes by quickly for you.

    • Oh Jason, to be honest you really need to eliminate “Unfortunately” from your vocabulary. Although you may not have a family as you saw yourself to have, I encourage you to see how God’s plan is PERFECT, and His Kingdom is being glorified through your ministry during this season.

      Saying “unfortunately” is like saying you are doubting you know what God is doing in your life, and I believe that not be the case for you, from what I’ve seen.

  7. Part of the process, son, in being the man God wants you to become. He knows you…..remember when Kiersten sang “He knows my name, He knows my every thought….” – – -I can hear her cute voice….so awesome and so precious. Be Blessed and dwell in Him….

  8. Ben, I am with you all the way.

    I like a 1-2 day break once in awhile, but whenever the family is gone without me it gets way lonely. It’s a reminder of who am I and how much being a husband and father is part of my identity.

  9. There are nights when I wake up, the kids are at their dad’s house, and I just miss that something that I get from being with people I love. But God sent me a cat. I don’t love this cat like on of the kids, and I’m not all that keen on cats, but there’s a warm cuddly thing next to me reminding me of God’s provision.

    • Although I completely despise cats, I can understand their use in this particular instance. Although just the fur would probably work, overall I would definitely prefer a dog.

      Oh, and bet you miss their lovely, um… smell. Right?

      hehe

  10. This weekend I am going camping without the fam, so I can relate to the need to re-charge with some time alone with God. I definitely need to come up with a plan for what to take with me (and what to leave behind).

  11. I haven’t been able to spend time with my daughter since Christmas because she doesn’t have time in her schedule for me.

    Hope yours are back soon

    -Peace

  12. Spending time with God is definitely the best way to combat loneliness. He never leaves us!

  13. I feel ya buddy. Action movies, pizza every night, and video games can only provide so much comfort at night… šŸ™‚

    But really… I know what you mean. The times when my family has been away, it’s tough – especially because I take care of the nighttime routines for the kids (bath, prayers, teeth, books, etc). I miss that when they’re gone!

    • I think the night time routines are what I miss most, along with the middle of the night comforting. It sucks at the time, but I love being there for them. All of them.

  14. Hang in there. If I were in the same boat I would try to improve my Candy Land strategy because what I am doing now is NOT working.

  15. Thanks for sharing your heart!

  16. Been there man. I had to work Monday-Friday for over 2 months away form my family one time. It really sucked. Know the feeling.

    Get to see them today though! Thanks for sharing!

  17. Josh does the same thing! Last year the kids and I were in Washington without him for almost 2 weeks. He thought that he would have a grand old time watching whatever he wanted on tv, eating whatever he wanted, sleeping in on the weekends and bach-ing it. Hahah!

    He called me every night saying that he couldn’t sleep because his bed was empty…no wife, no little kidlet legs kicking him in the back…He ended up staying up till midnight every night watching TV in bed until he finally fell asleep.

    I bet your wife is just as ready to see you again as you are them. šŸ™‚

    • Wish we had a TV in our room so I could have done that, instead I just had a laptop, but that still worked. Glad we’re back to our normal-crazy now though, that’s for sure!

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