Last week Kim and I shared with you how we would love to begin the adoption process, over here we wanted to give you as much detail as we progress (or regress). I have to tell you, these last few weeks have been most exhilarating since we’ve finally decided that we should move forward.
We have learned a lot so far, but I feel we’re just barely at the tip of the iceberg. To be honest, I feel the weekend couldn’t come soon enough. It will be a good time to relax, and reflect upon everything we’ve learned. It will also be a good time for us to repeat to each other, what we were told by some good friends. I believe just hearing us say it out loud will definitely paint a clearer picture of just how much we’ve understood.
We have had so many questions, and will have a ton more as we move forward in this journey, here are just a few that I wanted to share:
Why should we adopt?
I bet you are probably expecting me to recite a Bible verse or two, or even say something about how as Christians we have all been adopted by God into His family, and we have a duty to care for orphans in distress, and how adoption is the best way to do so…
Although I agree with the above, this one is easy, plain and simple. Kim and I want to grow our family, and we want to parent another child with love that they would not normally have a chance to receive. In doing so, we want to have a balance of boys and girls. Jack said he needs a brother, and we agree. I think there’s a good balance there, right?
I will tell you that this decision did not come quickly, as we have never really been on the same page as far as the “when” we should adopt. Through encouragement from our family, some very close friends, a ton of prayer, insight from some awesome people, and most importantly the stir in our hearts that we need to do something bigger than us, we knew we needed to be Bold. Now is the time.
How the heck are we going to fork out $20-$30,000?
To be honest I have no freakin’ clue and we kinda of dig it. Kim and I have had our share of financial struggles in our 11 years of marriage, and only with God did He bring us out. This just gives Him one more opportunity to show how incredibly awesome He is. Oh yeah, a tweet from Carlos Whittaker the other day may have also been one of those “catalysts” that pushed us over the edge:
As of right now we have not researched all of the grants, or financial fundraising options out there. Once we’re a that point, we plan on sharing exactly how much we have put into this adoption financially, as well as the funds origination.
International, or Domestic?
This one came fairly easy for us since we both already wanted to do international, but because we wanted to be 100% sure we explored and researched both sides. In all of the information we researched it just seemed like there were too many red flags for us to pursue locally. Without getting into too much detail, we’ve both learned in our 11 years of marriage that when something causes tension, we need to pay attention. Domestic adoption definitely caused tension.
What nationality do we want to adopt, and why?
I had the privilege and honor of speaking with Kevin Jones, who is the founder of Wiphan. He and his wife have adopted 2 girls from China, and he provided some great advice. In the order of things, he said we should really think about what we want, and then find an agency that would help us move in that direction. Wait, what?! Choose what we want? That just sounds so selfish! He went on to say that the bigger picture is this: There are so many children out there who are in need of families. This is an area where you should really know what you want and be selfish in the beginning, but also know that you may need to be flexible.
It definitely helps, but we have found that although we may want certain preferences (gender/nationality), with some organizations we didn’t even have those options.
So Kim and I haven’t yet decided which country we want to pursue, but we’re thinking either China or the Philippines. Both of these countries have such an awesome program to adopt children with minor disabilities such as already repaired or repairable cleft pallets, club feat, or minor heart conditions who were rejected by their parents. Also since I have Filipino/Chinese heritage, and since it’s going to be a challenge enough as it is, we believe this common bond could only help.
What organization are we going to choose?
As it stands right now, the organizations we have found that can help us adopt in both countries is Bethany and Holt International. Although there are a few restrictions, Bethany is the only company so far that actually has a relationship with the Philippine government, and who is accepting new applications. Holt works with China and the Philippines, but has an indefinite hold on new Philippine applications.
We have not submitted a formal application as of yet, so if you know of of any other organizations, please share in the comments below.
Can we love a child who is not from our blood?
This child is out there right now, and he is just waiting. He does not know that we have already called him our own, nor does he know that we are praying for our new family member. When he joins the family there will be no question that we will call him our son, and our children will call him brother.
Will Kiersten, Madison and Jackson love him as a brother?
In talking with Kiersten and Madison, (Jackson’s a bit young), they seem to be very excited about this new addition to the family. I know it is definitely going to be an adjustment but we will be preparing our house, and our hearts so that we can make this transition for our new family member as smooth as possible. Right now, we really don’t know how they’re going to be, but we’re not worried.
Will he like the 49ers and Lakers?
ok, maybe both of us don’t wonder that…
Specificity. We ask for specific prayers:
There are so many other questions that we will be asking throughout this entire process, so what is the least we ask of you?
- That Kim and I seek and listen to wise counsel.
- That our to-be son is taken care of well before joining our family.
- That we continue to encourage one another every day, and most importantly that we learn.
I can’t say how much I already appreciate the community that has developed around this blog, and no matter where we are in 3 years, I hope we learn enough to be able to guide others down the road to adoption.