Sometimes when I ask a rather deep question, whether it’s to a person or even when I ask a question to God, it seems like 2 different types of answers emerge. There’s the subtle answer, and then there’s the in-your-face-you-just-got-punched answer.
I hate subtlety.
Subtlety in an answer requires thinking, praying, and really having faith that your decision is going to be the right one, or really the one in which aligns with the path set before us by God.
We truly believe that we are doing as God is calling us to do, what we feel are the desires and passions of our hearts, by moving forward in both of these ventures. For the first time (surprisingly) we had a couple of not-so-positive comments that kind of threw us off. The firsts of many, I’m sure.
With regards to adoption we had somebody say “be careful,” which is understandable because we’ve heard some horror stories of adoptions gone awry, to the point of marital devastation. We’ve read how taxing it can be to a relationship, and a family nonetheless so the “be careful” seems fitting. That’s fine. I get that. Earlier that same day, I also received some unwanted advice how financially it makes sense for Kim to birth 2 of our own kids. I mean, wtf? I know that we are more than equipped to be able to do so, but you’re missing the point dude.
Both of these comments in the same day really threw us off our “we’re confident this is God’s will” wagon and kind of put some doubt in our minds.
Now let’s go to this past Sunday where we had our first meeting for our trip to Venezuela, and we started talking about raising the funds needed to do this trip and how we are going to have to raise support. A whopping $52,200 is what will be needed for the team, $5,800 of which Kim and I will need to go serve in Bariquisimeto at this home for boys. To raise this money we will need to rely on the support of our friends and family.
How do we even ask for that kind of money? $5,800 for a mission trip and $20-$30k for adoption? Holy Moly. I know that it really offers a great opportunity for people to give, but still that’s a lot of money that we will try not to stress about raising. I’m just being honest here, but Venezuela is a small amount compared to what we’re going to raise for adoption. Is it worth it? Is this stress needed? These are questions that loom on our minds.
Go away questions, you’re not welcome.
What do we do with the doubt? Better yet what do we do with the enemy here? We’ve asked God what we should do in these kinds of situations, but we’ve also become aware that God’s not the only one working here, and that sucks.
I’ve sat on this post since Sunday, and debated whether or not I should even post this. I debated because since Sunday we have had an overwhelmingly positive response to this post in regards to financial support.
Seriously, we are blessed beyond measure.
However, in the spirit of trying to be transparent so as to communicate to you who I really am as a person and to you whom I absolutely love for reading, I need to share something. I wouldn’t be completely honest if I said that we’re 100% confident God’s going to place people in our lives who will be blessed, and in turn bless our family and our team. I like to try and really think it will happen, to alleviate the stress for both of us, and I would also like to say I completely trust in Him to provide, but it is so difficult when it seems like so much. I mean, He has NEVER failed us in what we ask of Him, but still…
The bottom line here is it will take a “punch in the face” to Kim and I for us to waiver from our path, and as my good e-brother Moe put it, these are “God Given Passions,” so I don’t think we’ll be wavering any time soon. It’s such a small amount and so little a request compared to how big and great He is, right? I believe that. WE believe that.