Black & White

Ben —  February 24, 2014 — Leave a comment


At a time when I felt I knew a lot about student ministry, I still have a crapload to learn.

I am entering this new season right now. A season waiting to take me for an incredibly challenging spin. Had you asked me last year if I would ever venture in this realm I would have told you “I don’t think I have the capacity or bandwidth for special needs ministry.” (By the way, I think we say those words when we’re either too busy or don’t want to take on any new challenges.)

So this new challenge of serving in the special needs arena is something I have honestly been terrified of, thinking I would in no way be able to take on a role at any level, but… evidently as much as I try, I can’t really control all aspects of my life.

Go figure. Continue Reading…


Ben —  December 5, 2013 — Leave a comment

“I just don’t know what to do, it doesn’t seem like my son is connecting with their small group leader.”

~ Parent

This question I hear so very often, from parents of students in my friends group, from students talking about parents of their friends, and also from the parents of the group of dudes that hang out with me on Sunday.

The truth is that when conversations between leaders and students happen, most of the time they are not profoundly theological or on that level of complete trust. If they ever do get there, it is because we have learned how to connect with each and every individual student.

We’ve learned to do this: Continue Reading…

Hush, little baby

Ben —  December 2, 2013 — 2 Comments

It’s about 1, maybe 2 in the morning and I can’t go to sleep.

Maybe it’s because I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, and I’m just taking things day at a time. Or maybe it is because I am still contemplating whether or not the move 800 miles away from everything I’ve known, was worth it. The change in the scenery, or the fresh start, or whatever. There’s so much on my mind. it just continues to spin and spin, and although my eyes are closed I am very much awake.

Maybe, just maybe I’m awake because of the arguing. There’s so much of it, I can’t handle it but I can’t do anything about it.

It’s f’ing 2 in the morning. I can’t. Continue Reading…

The Bell

Ben —  November 28, 2013 — 1 Comment

This bell has rung over 50,000 times.

Each time this bell rings, it is…

Continue Reading…

You Deserve, Better?

Ben —  November 25, 2013 — Leave a comment

A time in my life that I don’t care to revisit, is the time when I remember how much I hate the way I treated you.

Specifically the time during your marriage.

Prior to me getting married, and while you were married, there as a season of your life when going through what you were going through is not even something I can even imagine. In fact, I am ashamed of my thoughts of judgement when you decided to go down the point of no return. The decision to end your marriage devastated me and all that I believed to be true.

My heart was hard, and I can’t even imagine the pain it caused to know that me, as close as I am, couldn’t even feel like I was by your side through this most devastating season of your life.

I should have loved you more. Continue Reading…