What Breaks Your Heart?

Ben —  January 26, 2015

To answer this question presented to us through Andy Stanley’s series at the beginning of the year, I guess I could spend some time listing what bothers me, or another way of answering could even be writing about what seems unfair or unjustified. But instead I want to talk about what bothers me enough to do something about it.

Without thinking about it too long, the idea of being selfish definitely fits within the parameters of the question. Although I am guilty of being selfish more times than I would like to admit, I want to be specific by saying the selfishness I see from myself and others when it comes to parenting is what breaks my heart. I mentioned in this post how I fear I am just standing by watching life happen, and although it still rings true to a certain extent I don’t feel as though I give myself enough credit.

Giving credit where it’s due, even if that means giving credit to ourselves, does not come easy. Kim and I both have bought into being called to a higher purpose. We have been blessed with the availability to volunteer as much as we can in student ministries at our church. With Kim now working in Transit and I with reThink, we both now get to devote our personal and professional time investing into the lives of the next generation. We basically live and breathe student ministry, and love every minute of it. Every now and then I deflect compliments on how well my small group of guys are, or Kim will get compliments on how well she leads within her circle of influence. Or just at random times people will tell us how they admire our parenting, which really should give us all the confidence in the world, however, we have lacked the faith and courage to pursue doing something about what breaks our hearts.

You see, sometimes a friend comes along to give you a little push bigger than a compliment or admiration. Sometimes a friend decides to randomly give you an extremely generous gift to remind you with whom to place your trust and faith. Sometimes this gift pushes you over the edge to complete an application for something you have been praying about for a few years… which leads me to answering the question above.

There is something heartbreaking about the idea of children who grow up not having parents, and if you have known me and Kim long enough you will know we have wrestled with our desire to adopt. We’ve been asked what has taken us so long to even submit the application, and up until a couple of months ago we really couldn’t pinpoint the real reason. We kept making excuse after excuse, which seemed legitimate but we were not being honest with ourselves or with our close friends, and I want to apologize. I am so, very sorry we weren’t truthful.

To put it out there and to be honest we are afraid. It’s such a huge step forward in faith both financially and spiritually, with the former being on our minds more than the latter. So for this year our prayer has been to finally take the step of faith forward, and submit our application to adopt.

So we did, and last Friday we received our welcome call.


Whatever happens next we will tackle one step at a time, and we want y’all to join us on our quest for a sixth Nunes.

Here we go!