Archives For Adoption

Psych Eval – Ben

Ben —  September 9, 2015

I started writing this around midnight the day before, but by the end here I will have completed my 2 hour long psychological evaluation which is needed for our home study. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, but in fact I am terrified. The last psychologist I talked to was back in 2008 as a part of the interview process for a sales position.

This is a little different, but I think I got about the same amount of sleep.

I wonder how much detail I need to give in my “life story,” and if I will even be able to talk through it – especially the rough areas. I guess a little part of me is afraid that I might say something or answer something in the questionnaire giving the psychologist reason to believe I am actually, in fact crazy. More so than my 15 year old thinks when I’m whipping and nae nae-ing in front of a bunch of her friends, or when we bust out in a random dance party at home. Will I have to sit in a chair or do I start right off laying on the couch? What if the chair is just some hard-wooden chair? Man, I hope it’s at least comfy… 2 hours in an uncomfortable chair telling a complete stranger your “life story” or even answering questions does not sound fun. I’d better get some sleep. Continue Reading…

What a rush.

After a few hours of getting to know our social worker and her assistant, and they us (all of us), our first home study is completed.

In the first hour of talking to Kim and Me, we were asked questions normally found in maybe the 2nd or 3rd job interview. These questions were personal enough to allow for some awkward and uneasy answers but we both knew by answering them as honest as possible was our only choice. We needed them to know us, for who we are as parents now and for who we will be to our future son. In all honesty, the questions weren’t really as intrusive as I expected them to be – or maybe we were both really comfortable being transparent. I’ll vote for the latter. Continue Reading…

Ready or Not

Ben —  June 1, 2015 — Leave a comment

It’s crazy to think over a month ago, we were planning on scheduling our first home visit “in just a few days.”

Then came Orange Conference.
and our company released a new product.
and my work schedule doubled.
and then Drive Conference.
and our social worker went on maternity leave.
and our niece came to live with us during the summer.

and…and… Continue Reading…

Five Fifty Two

Ben —  April 15, 2015 — Leave a comment

If you’ve ever wanted to know how well you really know your spouse, and want to be intentional about strengthening your marriage, taking a couple’s assessment like the one Prepare/Enrich offers is definitely one of many thorough ways of doing it.

As part of the beginning of our adoption process, Kim and I had to answer 276 questions each dealing with all sorts of things ranging from the adoption, to habits, to our family’s past. Generally these types of tests are encouraged to be taken as a part of the premarital counseling process. As in – before you’re married, not 15 years in… This way, you have a good idea of things you may not have thought to talk about prior to making the commitment “for better or for worse.” It brings to light some issues you will probably have to work at harder than others, as well as some strengths on which to build.

Had we taken this test 15 years ago, there would have been red flags everywhere and as a couple we probably would have been extremely discouraged. Back then we really didn’t need a whole lot of convincing to know we had a long road ahead of us, however we were both certain we would always fight for “us” no matter what.

Continue Reading…

One of Four

Ben —  April 10, 2015 — Leave a comment

In just the next few days we will be scheduling the beginning of our home study. This is just after a little over a month of fundraising, we’ve been able to raise enough money to pay our first (of four) agency payments of $3,775!!! This first payment will allow us to start our home study process, and then by the end we will need to have raised our 2nd payment to complete the home study. Truly, God’s timing is wonderful and what he provides is exact, and perfect.

What we have found to be truly amazing is the community of family and friends who have come around us to support our adoption financially. If there was any doubt if we could do this in the beginning of our process, it has definitely been diminished by the people with whom surround us. Continue Reading…