This has been draft, for a very long time. Almost a year. And every time I want to add to it, it’s to recount what has happened in the last year, with the intention share it with everybody who has followed. A million times I have tried to add to this draft since the last blog post.
The process starts with me grabbing my favorite non-lyrical music so I’m not distracted. Placing my coffee to the side, sitting somewhere away from everything and everyone. Maybe it’s late at night, maybe not. Maybe it’s an hour before a soccer game while one of my kids is warming up. Or maybe it’s like today, when I have several hours before a work lunch while out of town.
So I sit, and write. Or type. But not really because I’m stuck. Or, stubborn is probably more accurate.
Too stubborn to allow myself to feel the emotions throughout the process.
Too stubborn to continue to translate this 50 page document, out of fear of the horrors I will encounter.
Too stubborn let myself grieve from the perception this boy we are pursuing just had his mother admit to no longer loving her son.
Too stubborn to realize and accept there are situations in this world when it comes to orphans, it is incomprehensible.
But.
This is the reality. And it sucks. Continue Reading…