Saturday I drove to Alabama, at 5am for Kissy’s soccer tournament. She slept, I drove. It was kind of good, but over all I learned, I mean I was reminded that driving in the dark sucks. Actually, being in the dark sucks both literally and metaphorically. 6 years ago was a time in our marriage where both Kim and I were in “the dark.”
We were lost.
We were hurting.
There was a huge fight…
…and we were on the verge of destroying our marriage and family.
This huge fight was not between Kim and I, this was a much bigger fight. This was our Father fighting for His children, and in the end He wins.
So Kim and I also fought.
We fought for our marriage, we fought for our children, and we fought to protect our souls.
Before coming to this, we were completely caught up in the view of hiding our secrets and faults. We were naive to think that we could try and do this on our own, with no outside help or counsel. Fictional story lines in Movies, TV shows, magazines and even some of our really close friends influenced us to make decisions that did not help, but hinder our healing process. We were not on the right path, and we were continuing to spiral further downward. We were slaves to our own naivety, tied up by the bonds of the world.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
I fully believe God already knows what’s up, yet He waits for us to surrender our plans for His. He is like the sun rising in the rear view mirror, and we are driving as fast as we can away from it to try and keep that sunrise paralyzed and never peer over the horizon. We learned you can’t do this forever, and eventually you’ll run out of gas.
We sought out professional help, because we could not do this on our own. We realized this, not a moment too late because had we continued to follow the “worldly” ideal of what we should do, I would not be here sharing this right now. We opened up to some wise counsel, we gave that person access to our secrets and our faults, and most importantly we gave him access to our past before we were married. This allowed for him to counsel us with more understanding, which in turn allowed the healing process to begin individually as well as the journey of strengthening our marriage.
This type of transparency that allows for one to see you for who you really are, also allows them to be who you need them to be.
We were freed.
Who is one person that you allow that type of access to?
Do you struggle with giving in to God, and giving Him access? What about your spouse, is that also a struggle? If you’re in one, what about your community group?