Here's me, age 8'ish just learning how to h4xX0r on our Apple IIe.
I saw this idea from Kevin, a blogger who I just recently started following and who I find hilarious, his post gave me an idea to do the same thing over here, but for a much younger Me prior to Middle School AND High School.
Dear Ben,
The first 5 of these is just to help you with the next few years in Middle School, the last 6 are for when you reach High School. This should help a little bit to get you through to college.
- Don’t try to hide your copy of Run DMC, your parents have a rap-cassette-sniffer and will find that tape in that hidden floorboard panel and burn it. They will deny it. Keep it on your person at all times.
- Don’t try to split up 2 hamsters while they are “wrestling,” you’ll get cut.
- Remember that, although lighting rubbing alcohol on fire in the dark looks pretty cool, your sister’s nail polish remover that you’re burning is contained in a plastic bottle, which also burns.
- Seeing your father get to level 29 on the original Nintendo Tetris, is Epic. Embrace it. Cherish it.
- Yes, you’re the fastest running kid in your school, but a ten-speed will beat your dirt-bike in a 40 yard dash. 10 times out of 10. Keep your $5 and challenge the dude to a foot race.
- You’re just about to get into “going around” or “dating” or “going out” with the opposite sex. Keep in mind that twins should require at least a 2 year minimum in-between time. Not 2 weeks.
- Learn to like coffee ASAP.
- I know you think you’re cool with your Reebok Pumps, but just know that knocked back your parents $80, which they could have used on something better like oh say, a new bike for your younger brother to replace the one you trashed while trying to do a 360?
- Don’t even think about sitting next to that cute girl on the bus on the way to the band competition. You never know who just might be the girlfriend of the highly sought-after DE on the football team.
- Don’t quit soccer or football tryouts to spite your parents, only you lose.
- Don’t tell the girl you ask to the prom that she was the 2nd girl you asked. Don’t.
I love your face.
Thanks dear. I love your brains.
Incredible.
Thanks! It was tons of fun doing it, you should too!
Good stuff!
I wrote a post like this a while back. Here is a link to mine:
http://bit.ly/aepqej
Holy Batman. This was posted on my Birthday! Ima go read it.
Ha, this is great!
Do one!
I probably should… it’s actually a really funny idea. Keep you posted. 🙂
Trampolines are NOT meant for basketball games, don’t forget what REAL frostys are from s.b., and anytime you want to pick me up from school in a brand new supra twin turbo one day and a brand new land cruiser the next, go ahead. Even if the walk home is only 2 blocks away….GP pts. And that bike move was sicccccccccccc lol. “Why am I not turning???? Ahhhhhh!!!!”
LOL I love you lil’ bro.
I would definitely tell myself to relax a little. Have a little more fun. But I would also tell myself to develop better work ethic in school.
I cosign this, absolutely needed to have more fun.
Ben, just had to share in this. It is a brilliant idea:
Tyler,
1) Dont ever forget that gut wrenching fear and panic you felt sticking your head out the very top of the tallest tree in Mrs Tootsie Rickman’s orchard. The quest for that sickening feeling will define your life and your career!
2) The best talks you had with your father were while working on a fence row or roofing a house. Give that to your children.
3) Speaking of fence rows….leave the hornets alone….idiot!
4) Girlfriends will break your heart, Dogs never will…it’s just the way it is.
5) Dont take a blind date to see “Silence of the Lambs.” Do I really have to say that?!?!
Thanks Ben, and I’ll try the fire thing with your sister’s nail polish remover. That actually sounds kinda fun.
Tyler
Thanks Tyler! Make sure you light it in the dark, OH, and don’t try to spell your name on the floor then light it up…instant giveaway.
Blue Flame! TWINS!! LOL! Turtles; skateboarding ; boogie boarding with you and your brother; Santa Barbara….mind flooded with memories and fun times! Where in the world did the time go? Thanks for the joy and keeping everything reals! You guys were awesome.
We were awesome?! We wouldn’t have done any of this stuff without such an incredible father leading us 🙂
Don’t try to break up two dogs that are fighting by grabbing their faces. I know it seems logical to grab their snouts because that is the source of the sound and the violence. You will get bit and have to have shots. Repeat, you will get bit.
Oh man, LOL.
Let the hamsters wrestle…epic
I would tell myself that if I had the BG’s to use the restroom before I went on a date. Because pooping your pants on a date is bad. #truestory
Oh. My.
Now the twittersphere knows you pooped your pants on a date. THAT’S epic!
Thanks for the shout-out btw 🙂
Dude, I have a habit of that. The WORST guest post I’ve ever written was about pooping my pants at work. And it was for @ScottWilliams #fail
I wouldn’t call it a #fail, if you were trying to get the word out that you poop your pants to 80k followers… LOL
HAHAHA!
I just don’t think I shall ever look at you the same now, Michael.
LOL!!
Ben you are hilarious. Did you learn to like coffee asap? That is the most important tip there.
Amazingly enough, I didn’t get into coffee until ’07 when my wife and I did our first short-term missions trip to the DR. DR coffee is righteous.
Yes! DR coffee is righteous! +1
Classic dude.
Heh, thanks Chad 🙂
Well done! I won’t get into writing a letter here but off the top of my head, two pieces of advice I would give to a ‘young me’ would be:
1. Don’t do drugs
2. Make sure you keep your retainer in when you go to bed
Thanks for the idea!
So, simple. So, afterschool-special’ish. lol
I still think you should put something up on your blog though, just sayin’.
>>If you were to write a letter to your younger self, what would you say?
Oh, man. Hmm.
“Bag and board all your comics and put them somewhere safe so your mother doesn’t throw them out when you leave home to go into the military.”
I still quiver like a timid rabbit and go fetal when I think of that horrific event.
The horror!!!
I still have mine from when I was as old as I am in that picture. My mom loved me.
You still have your old comics? …grumble, grumble… Paint me envious.
Yeah, I’ve not opened the box in some time, and I don’t even remember some of the ones I own. I think one of them is worth something, I think when Gambit was introduced? Bah, I’ll have to go check again.
Not only did the post make me giggle, albeit good words of advice, but the comments/replies did too.
Aren’t these guys great? Love ’em.
Still smiling at all the comments….love it. Comic books, Shel Silverstein, Calvin and Hobbs…….great literary works worth saving for the next generations.
Wow Mom, this comment is just so full of awesome.
Don’t sign your name in everyone’s yearbook as “Suzy.” No one will understand and some will question your manliness.
lol! I wouldn’t question your manliness, something tells me I would’ve known exactly what you were referring to 🙂
Epic! The fact that I’ve tried to forget most of those things over the years would probably make writing a post like this next to impossible for me. You do it well, though! Love it.
LOL, you should still try. All that I’ve tried to “forget” felt good to through humor at it’s face.
Dude, this post (and the comments) made me laugh out loud. I don’t have enough cool stuff to write an entire post about, but I’ll give it a go…
1. That swing set that’s falling towards your face? Duck! (Hit in the mouth when a swing set fell over, busted out 6 teeth, 4 permanent)
2. Don’t pitch to the guy that’s notorious for hitting line drives. (Ball came back and hit me in the jaw, breaking it in 3 places. I was wired shut for the summer and had to eat/drink out of a straw).
3. That girl you think you love and want to marry? She’s not the one, not even close. Run far, far away.
4. Don’t major in counseling at college. You might as well major in sumo wrestling.
5. Don’t be afraid to take chances. You can do more than you think you can (said to past and present self).
Oh man, my mouth hurts just reading this! The taking chances was kind of a huge thing for me too, wish I’d have taken more.
Ben, this is a great read. Most of which I never did any. I was quiet and didn’t do a whole lot. However I did ask a couple of girls to prom, and the one I went with was the back up. I actually told her that and she still went. Not a very “manly” thing to do.
Thanks for sharing this, appreciated reading the lessons you learned.
The “Backup” prom date. Awesome. Unfortunately I did the same thing, after asking the girl to prom I said “well yeah I asked so-and-so but they broke their leg in the last soccer tournament.”
Wish I could have those words back, but we still had a good time.
Ben,
I love this post. I should totally write a letter to the younger Trina Pockett (well, Whipple). I would have so many words of wisdom to share. Life could have been so much easier and without as much heartbreak : ) I do feel a slight pain for your prom date. I can’t believe you told her she was second choice. You are a crack up!
Trina
LOL, yeah I know it was one of those “you idiot” moments. If you make one, please share!